To the Ass Who Hit My Car

When I came out of Trader Joe's on Riverside Drive in Sherman Oaks on October 25, I was asked by a cute pregnant woman, "Is that your car? I've been waiting for you". She proceeded to tell me that she witnessed some ass trying to park in the space next to my car, cut the turn too wide, and proceeded to scratch and dent the entire driver's side of my car. This car then proceeded to back up and promptly leave the parking lot. This kind lady told me she tried to get the license plate number, but could not do so.

If this is you, you're a cowardly ass who can't take any responsibility for your behavior. It's one thing to ding someone's bumper as you're trying to get in, but by the look of the damage on my car, you entered the parking lot the wrong way and tried to turn into a parking space that was angled away from you. How stupid could you be? And to top it off, you flee the scene. What a chicken shit. For your information, you caused $1900 of damage.

Trust me, you may not get any reprecussions from me or the law at this point, but someone/something is watching you, knows what you did, and you will pay. Karma is not on your side. Because I truly believe that everything happens for a reason, and what you give to the universe, you will get back, you will get yours ten fold...

"I Work"

While I'm at my job 4 hours/week, Jared hangs out with Paul. Since Paul is working, Jared wants to work, too. "Dada, I work" So, the dining chair gets pulled into the office and Paul sets him up with the laptop. He pokes at letters, announcing each one as it pops onto the screen. He then sometimes bangs on the keyboard, imitating Paul like he's typing fast, and announces, "I work!". Sometimes he sends encrypted e-mails to his friend Sinjin. Other times, he just writes encrypted documents. Maybe he's sending code to 2-year-old terrorists or something. Then, of course, after a short while, very short while, it's time for a milk and pretzel break. It's all in a day's work.

More Halloween Pics

Jared and Chloe, our neighbor, who is 4 days older than Jared.



Me & Jared with Charlie Brown (you can't see his face because he's too busy sniffing everything)


Novice trick-or-treater who doesn't understand why he has to wear the hood.

First Taste of the Good Stuff

As a parent, the second main worry (after sleep) is what your kid is eating, and whether he's eating enough. You also want things to be organic, wholesome, and healthy. Pre-kid, I used to see parents at restaurants feeding their kids fries and chicken nuggets. I used to think, "I wouldn't do that. It's so bad for them". But when you become a parent, your perspective changes, especially if you have a kid that's underweight. Add on severe food allergies that narrow the scope of possible foods, and you get desperate for your child to eat anything. Yes, my kid eats fries & chicken nuggets. And yes, I feel paranoid at times, like some unknowing stranger that used to be me is judging me. Kids go through weird eating phases. For a while it was tofu in any way possible. Now, this week, it's thin pretzels ALL day long. Breakfast, snack, lunch, all afternoon, a couple in the bath before bed. The up side to all of this is that it has counteracted the diarrhea (which lasted 10 days, by the way) and now he is constipated.

One thing I wasn't too crazy about is juice. Unless it's like 100% juice from Trader Joe's, most juices are 100% pure sugar. I hesitated to give him juice - for a while I would water it down 50%. That was okay for a while, until he caught on, would follow me to the kitchen, and say, "No watey, no watey". I've gotten over all that. He still doesn't get all the juice he wants, but he gets it once in a while and only 100% juice.

The other thing is candy. You know that once you start that, you're headed for a slippery slope. I've tried to hold off on the candy for as long as possible, explaining that wrapped lollipops are just "colorful sticks", wrapped mints are just toys that have crinkly paper to make noises, and candy in boxes are just "shakers" like maracas. Yet, as some point you have to let it happen, in a controlled manner. So this year, the day after Halloween, I let him have his first tasting. I was at first hesitant about the Skittles - they're small, they can be a choking hazard. But, it was probably the only thing in the batch that wasn't a lollipop and non-dairy. So after a 5 minute lecture on "chew, chew, chew, chew lots", we let him go for it. Of course, after the first one, he said, "MMMMM". And after studying the bag and reading the letters, he shortly finished the bag, waved the bag, and pronounced, "DONE! I like candy". After he found another bag this morning, I had to convince him that he first had to wait until after lunch, until which he held onto the bag with both hands, did an evil laugh, and repeatedly said, "I like it. I love it." Then, I had to trick him and convince him that the whole bag only held 5 Skittles, conveniently one of each color. Surprisingly that was enough. He didn't ask for more.

So, for those of you who see kids eating in the mall or a restaurant and say to yourself "I wouldn't feed my kids that crap", don't judge. Wait until you have your own, and then we'll talk...

Trick-or-Treat 2007

The boy was a tiger this year. He didn't pick it - we did. He was obsessed with this stuffed tiger he has, of course, until recently, but that's okay. Here he is with his friend Sinjin, the spider. We also went with our neighbor Chloe, who was the leader of the pack. This was the first year of real trick-or-treating. The process is a very steep learning curve. The first few houses, they were timid about approaching the door and knocking. They would then usually stand there and not say "trick-or-treat", but trust me, after a couple houses, they got it. They would approach the door and knock. When the person with the bowl came out, they would just stick out their pumpkins to collect the goods. Halfway through the route, Sinjin just enjoyed knocking the door and then promptly leaving without getting the goods. He had to be reminded to get the candy. Mind you, neither of the boys have had candy, so they don't really know what's going on. They just know that people are oohing and aahing over them and putting stuff in their pumpkins. The boy got tired near the end. "Mama, too much treats. Pumpkin HEABY(that how he pronounces it)" Oh, my dear son, you will not be saying that next year...

B.F.F.s

There's nothing more nostalgic than a picture of a boy and his dog. Jared was compelled to sit like Charlie, too. He likes to boss Charlie around, telling him to "Come, CharChar" "Sit here, CharChar". This made me wonder if he needs a sibling. Then that half-second was over.