As a treat, we thought it was a great idea to get tickets to the Wiggles show and take the boy there as a surprise. After breakfast, we just got in the car, and when he asked where we're going, told him we're going to a "surprise show". At the Nokia theatre downtown, he didn't get it yet. There were no blatant banners or signs, so I give him credit. Once we get there, it is kid madness. Toddlers running around with all their Wiggles crap (hats, light-up batons, Dorothy the Dinosaur hats and roses, Wiggles backpacks, Wiggles t-shirts) but he doesn't quite get it. Then we go into the theatre and bad planning had us sitting in our seats for almost 40 minutes until the show starts. Then once again, we've planned poorly. "I want a hotdog" Well, you can have some popcorn, this kind of old orange, and raisins in my bag. I want a hotdog. The sign says all-beef. That doesn't mean Kosher (most hotdogs have dairy in them, so he can't have them). I run around to the concession stand. "Are your hotdogs Kosher?" "They're all -beef" "I know. That doesn't mean they're Kosher. Is there someone you can ask?" Manager walks by. Worker: "Hey, are the hotdogs Kosher?" "They're all -beef." Great. No answer. Seriously, there were quite a few Orthodox Jews sitting around us. I survey and see if any of them are eating the hotdog. I kid you not. I'm looking in the hands of every orthodox Jew and look to see if they're carrying a hotdog. Even a sign of a hotdog, like the wrapper or something, because hey, if they're eating it, it's Kosher. Nothing. Then I realize that the orthodox wouldn't even eat it anyways if it's not cooked in a kosher kitchen. I try to call Scott to look it up online. He's not home. I call Bernard. He looks it up online. No definitive answer. We opt to not give it to him. Don't need the boy to go into anaphelactic shock during the Wiggles show. Next move: distract and help him forget about the hotdog. It works.
While in our seats and still waiting for the show, I want to know how long the show is. I ask the usher. "Is the show like 90 minutes?" His answer: "No, it's an hour and a half." Paul & I laugh about this for about 5 minutes. Idiot.
You think the kid would be excited or something. But instead, he's tired and cranky. We opted to skip the nap (he hardly ever naps anymore anyways), but of course, this was the day that he really needed it. He's laying on me, sucking his fingers, rubbing his eyes. Then the show starts. He just stares. Not an excited stare, as in awe, but an overwhelmed stare. 45 minutes into the 90 minute show, I have to go pee really bad. Really bad. "Mama has to go potty. Stay here with dada." "NO! NO! I stay here with my mama!" Crying. I can try to wait another 45 minutes. About an hour into the show, he snuggles against my chest. He's sucking his fingers. Next thing I know, he's taking my hand and putting it against his ear. "Too loud mama! Too loud!". Then for a rendition of Twinkle Twinkle, the house lights go off and then it turns to (with a loud whimper and then crying), "Ooh, oh! Ooh, oh! Too dark. It's too dark!" (a little like Rain Man) Sniffle. Sniffle. Hands wiping away tears. Hands rubbing his eyes. I tell him, hold on. Hold on. The song's almost over and they'll turn the lights back on. I show him how the audience has their cell phones on and their stupid overpriced-light-up Wiggle batons in the air and how it looks like stars. Lucky for me, he doesn't ask me why he doesn't have a baton. The song is finally over. Then he gets whimpery again. "I can't stay. I want to go home". HUH? I paid $165 and you want to go home early? "I can't stay mama. I wanna go home" I ask Paul how much longer till the end of the show. 10 minutes. Fine. It's not worth the crying and pee is about to burst my bladder wide open anyways, so we leave. Once we get out of the actual theatre, he says "Too loud mama. It's too loud." I keep apologizing. For what, I'm not quite sure. Once he's in the car, he's fine. We come home and play kitchen, he does his Word World game online and he's fine. As I'm rocking him in the chair before I put him down, he says sleeply, "It was too loud mama." I know. I thought it would be fun. It wasn't as great as we thought.
Paul & I discussed the show on the way home. How we were disappointed there weren't more of the classic songs. How the Dorothy the Dinosaur segments were actually boring, and how there were quite a few songs we didn't know. This is what has become of our lives. What happened to seeing Dave Matthews at Dodger Stadium and wishing he'd play "Watchtower"?
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